U.N.D.E.R.S.T.A.N.D.I.N.G

I wanna share sumthing today…  

B4 dat, I wanna ask sumthing…..

Is it really important to your friend or people around u to understand u???

Or is it more important for u to believe in urself dat u r really understand ur self??

In my opinion, I rather choose to believe in myself cuz I noe no one cant understand me better…  I noe wat my strengths and weaknesses are… but this doesn’t mean dat I cant accept wat people think bout  me… as for me, everyone hv their own perceptive and their own way to lead their life… so they are free to talk wat they want.. I hv no power to stop it all… heee~ after all, sumtimes rumours correct my action…

I learn from every seconds in my life… my mistakes, chances, loss, n everything happened to me… I cant blame for any bad thing dat happen cz sumtimes wat we hate the most is actually really good for us rite??? So, how do u noe dat is good for u if u the one keep blame on it… juz let it go.. its happened for a reason not for nothing… J

I’m very grateful dat I hv an understanding family, friends n enemies..hahaha…  dun u realize dat ur enemy is actually is ur good fren??? (I’ll think further bout it… huuu~) Alhamdulillah.. I still can manage my self n my time… everyone got 24 hours rite… no less no more.. n its enough for us rite… I hope wif all my thoughts, I’ll lead a happy n calm life… 

Thanks for all those believe n keep believing in me… I wont forget every single thing of u all cz U ALL THE PRECIOUS THINGS DAT I’VE GOT…  I luv u all wif all my heart…. 

Thank u ALLAH!!!!

GoLdEN OppOrTuNItY At mId vALLey.....

Halu everyone!!! I’m back… I’m back with new spirit + inspiration… hahaha~ guess where I’m spending my time diz weekend…. Well… I got a scholarship interview offer letter last week… n the place was at THE GARDENS HOTEL at MID VALLEY CITY… such a golden opportunity rite… Alhamdulillah, Allah gives me a chance…

So on thursay (22/7) after claz, abah picked me up at college with my beloved mummy… then, next day, I went to MID VALLEY by bus… can u imagine… I’m gone out from my house at 6.30 n only reach to MID at 8.45…. such a long journey… I gotta rush to reach at dat hotel cuz I dun exactly noe where the hotel is.. alhamdullillah Allah helps me out… I reached there on time… then I juz line-up to register my name…

The world of nervous begins… I was really nervous.. cuz this is my first interview program… only Allah knows wat I feel… surrounded with other 26 candidates and most of them are chinese.. how can I compete!!!!! I’m soooo small… wat I’m gonna do….. somebody plz take me out!!!!

The program start with the survey dat must be done each of us… it was under Madam Kim… it was still ok… then, the program was handled by Mr Shahrin, the HR of IGB… at this time.. each of us must present ourself at the front of all people… owh my Gosh!!!!! Really kill me man!!! I try to be calm n think positively…

After that presentation(which is only a practice b4 the real presentation will), we had our lunch… wow!!!! I was soooooo excited… can u imagine, u’ve been treated as a prince and princess… we ate at 5 stars hotel which each person should pay for RM 100++ to eat at that place n we all got for free….. we can eat wateva we want!!!! From malay food, Chinese food, western, Japanese n everything was here….

with syuk (my roomate)

with syuk n indah....

own decorated ice-cream~ yum2~

After lunch…. Here the scary part begins… in front of all the management of IGB Corporation which is about 10 people n 27 candidates, here the challenge started… its feel like there is a butterfly in our stomach.. hahaha~ how hard is it??? I cant answer it… I juz done my turn… well, I’m done… huh!!!! I think if I dun get, it is ok.. coz there more people more needs this scholar….

Then.. at 6.30, we are going to check in…. oops forget to tell… I found a uitm gurl named SYUK… she was very kinf n soft spoken… she’s from t’nu… n luckily we r in same room… we stayed at THE CITITEL at the middle of MID VALLEY MEGAMALL at room 1113…. At 11th floor… soooooooooo high!!!!!

my beautiful room~ very cold up here!!!

shameless bathroom~ huhu~ luckily no one wif me... 

After check-in… we have to go down at 7.10 pm…. Dat for our dinner!!!! N once again, wat a beautiful place n food….. I eat pretty much…. Wow!!!!!!!!!!! Such an honour to eat at this place…  after that, we had a game!!! Wat??? Is there any other interview program have a game??? Hahaha~ believe it or not, we having our treasure hunt at MID VALLEY…. Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh~ SUPERB rite!!!!! After finishing that game at 9.15pm, we’ve been given 1 popcorn n 1 drink….. guess it for wat????? We having a movie…. Hahahaha… DESPICABLE ME!!!!! I never imagine it could turn like this… THANKS IGB FOR SPONSOR ALL THIS……. N we ended our nite at 12.00pm…. hahahah!!!! So enjoyable!!!!

we r da lucky gurlz!!! hehe~

1st time watching movie at MID n it is being sponsored!!! 

We wake up at 6.30am… n we having our great breakfast at 8.00am…. then, we r going to level 5 of DEWAN MATAHARI 1… at this time, we r having a career talk n some of us will go for 2nd interview… the career talk was really excitable… the career talk is to know how well our behavior match our future dream job… it is done through the analysis of the previous survey that we done on Friday… for my analysis, MADAM KIM told me dun be sooo nice to people or else people will take advantage of me… is it real?? Am I so nice??? n I got to know that I really suits on my dream to be a lecturer…. N sadly, I don’t be called for 2nd interview… hurmmm… its ok la… at least I know I weakness…. THANKS AGAIN TO IGB CORPORATION for giving me chance to joining this interview program… I hope I can work at this place… I leave that place with beautifully smiling… bye2 MID VALLEY.. I’ll come on other day…

WaLk aWaY...........

Its just enough!!!
So much dat I had…
I should let it go long ago…
But I still accept all those actions…
I kept nicely in my heart…
Never wanted to burst it out…
Never wanted to be shown…
Never wanted to be appeared…
I stand here for once again…
Think all those roses in my hand…
Very beautiful but full of thorns…
Nice in smell but hurt my fingers…
Too much risk, too much sick…
There’s only a way…
Dat I should walk away~

NeW SeMeSTeR aT NeW pLaCe.....

ahlan wa sahlan.... halu everyone!!! how was ur day??? hope everything fine k... at last, i got da time to write on diz carpet... really mish all da moment.. really mish SEGAMAT!!!!

finally, i got a chance to enter UITM SHAH ALAM for continuing BBA (Finance).... Alhamdullilah... Allah answered my prayers... n i'm very lucky cz i get COLLEGE.... haha... if previously in segamat, i get BAIDURI..... now i get MAWAR.... hahhaaha... u know wat... i'm the MAWAR BERDURI!!!!! hahahha....

for once.... whoever stay in SEGAMAT, u all should be thankful... life in UITM SHAH ALAM really kill me... can u imagine i need to go claz dat 3 times far from BAIDURI to DSP.... really tired... but enjoyable... as diz campus is kind of garden concept... so, there still fresh air to breathe... huhuhu~ our classes have not started yet bcz there r many things to be settle... it is such a great experience for me....

how can i tell dat i am very missing all the moment in SEGAMAT.... i wish i could back to there soon... to shidot, teemah, baby, yan, and all... i'm very missed u all..... can u find doraemon for me??? i want to borrow 'PINTU SESUKA HATI'.... hahahha~ once i got chance to get back there, i'll immediately tell u all.... wait for me k!! :)

i would end my post wif this song by FT ISLAND- LOVE LETTER.....

are u doing well?
aren't u sick?
i worry about u without me...
i hope that u eat well even if u r busy...
bundle up when it's cold...
and live strongly without crying...

i worry too much, don't i?
i'm talking too much, aren't i?
i'm only telling u things like a habit...
i keep seeing ur tears...
and so everyday is difficult...

i gave u hard time, didn't i?
i'm so sorry...
i'll let u go now....

pls meet someone good...
and be happy....
i believe that u'll do fine just as i know u will...
i dont want to stain ur smiling picture with my tears...
so today...
i keep on smiling...

hope u all doing fine k... for anyone that could be hurt by my words b4 diz, i'm so sorry... i noe sumthing my words kill people's feeling... need to go now.... wif flying luv, i leave u all now.... take care k.... muahxxxx....

silent................

haluuuu.... i'm back... guess what... juz back from 'place' dat i wanted to go so much but at the end i hv to leave dat place by bringing all da sadness n restless...  huh! so tired.... nothing i can do except juz let it be n gone... tired of being nice to keep one heart in a good condition... i never wanted diz way but it juz came accidentally... am i really da reason of all diz??? can u see i am still standing there for u eventough u never want to look at me at once... i thought i could be by ur side to cheer u up.. but i'm wrong... there's nothing i can do rite??? how could i think dat i can make u happy.... hurmmmm.... i always say to myself that your happiness is my priority... is it wrong?? for me, by seeing u happy is all i ever wanted...

silent... it is so hard to be done... but it is not imposibble rite... let keep all diz in my heart... some other day it will be forgotten... i wish... now i noe u r happy n keep it up... u deserve to be happy... as i said b4, as long as i see u happy, it's enough for me...

silent.........
as i walk through u...
i cant ever see nothing...
only tears come along....
is it for one happiness...?
as i see in ur face...
i wanted to forget all diz some day..
juz give me a strenght n time..
n i promises to vanish n demolish...
all those memories...
hard to get.. hard to be kept...
hard to be reminded...
hard to be memorized it...
seems diz all da way...
i want to walk it through...
and never turn back...
as i came without any regret..
and so i would let it freely ...
there's no reason to be here...

when we r being unappreciated....

"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the stuff that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

how can i complete my memories if there's always 'someone' between of us... it's hurts me enough... if i juz could make i wish, i wish to return back all my times when i never know bout u!!!! n if i get it, i wont let myself fall again... but i noe its impossible.. i'm talking juz like i dunno da benefits of all diz... Ya Allah... forgive me... never meant to be a ungrateful person... juz sometimes i need more patience to face all diz probs...

APPRECIATION.... the best word dat in my mind... wat do u feel when all things dat u gave to da person u luv have been broken or lost... it's not for da first time happened.... its keep going happen... is it shows me dat we r supposed not-to-be-together???? its become my curiousity... hurmmmmm.... such a bad feelings rite... dats wat i felt... huh! i wanted to forget all diz.... but its hard n hurt me inside... Ya Allah, plz show me the true path of my happiness... only U noe wat the best for me.... 

Here the journey begins.......

Halu!!!!! I've done my first step in designing my blogspot... huhu~ Penguin as a symbol of me... only people who close to me knows why penguin represents me... heeeee~ well, i am starting my blog wif the poem of 'The Pain of Losing Friends'.... where my world begins here...

-THE PAIN OF LOSING FRIENDS-

You do not need to tell me,
That friends can grow apart;
That even the near and dear
May someday break your heart.

The ones that you love now,
Can’t guarantee tomorrow;
And the ones that bring you joy,
May also bring you sorrow.

For although things may seem
Just perfect at the time,
People sometimes change,
And leave your heart behind.

You do not need to tell me,
I’ve been through it all enough,
I know just what it feels like
To lose someone that you love.

Whether it’s a buddy or a pal,
A confidante or best friend,
It’s the pain of losing them
That hurts too much to mend.

And know I’m really scared,
It’s happening once again.
I know that I am losing
One more of my best friends.

Once,we were inseparable,
We love to be together,
And I thought I knew for sure
That friends we’d be forever.

I believed it in my heart,
But it looks like I was wrong,
I guess that our relationship
Just wasn’t quite that strong.

For it didn’t take an argument,
A disagreement or a fight.
At some point we just started
To lead two separate lives.

I know that neither of us wanted
For it to end some day,
But now we’re different people,
We’re heading different ways.

It hurts so much to go through this
For yet another time,
And it hurts to see that you are fine,
And I’m the one who’s crying.

For I’m always thinking back
To the good times that we shared,
Yet you just walk away from them
Like you don’t even care.

I’ve lost so many people
That I’ve cared about a lot;
So this last scar will rest
With all the others on my heart.

And carefully I’ll trust again,
And one day in the end,
My heart will be much stronger
From the pain of losing friends.